Words, Words, Words

Paris Epilogue

2010-06-05T15:59:00.000-07:00

So, I'm back! I stopped in Dublin on the way home to transfer flights. It was pretty cool. I'd like to go back someday. I went home and didn't do much. Now it's time to look for jobs the rest of the summer. It'll be exciting.

For more exciting vacation adventures, check out Julia's blog!

Paris Days 8 and 9

2010-06-02T08:50:00.001-07:00

Belated but here!

We woke up pretty early and went down for a breakfast of some sort of juice, mediocre croissant, and bread. It was free. Then we left for Chateau de Vincennes. At first we were unimpressed. Then we realized what they wouldn't let us into was just the gatehouse. The Castle itself was pretty freaking cool. They let us right in with our museum passes, and then we got to walk around.

I liked it a lot better than Versailles. Here, we could touch everything, and there were no stupid tourists. No furniture, either, but that was okay. We got to look out from the battlements through the arrow slits, then we went up to the tower to look out over the grounds. It felt very royal.

Then we went into the main castle. We got to see all the prisoner's graffiti and the king's bedrooms, plus, of course, the castle latrines. It was all very cool. Also we saw the cell in which they kept the Marquis de Sade. That was pretty neat. There were some great blank screens, too.

After that, we went to the Saint-Chapelle. It's beautiful inside, with huge windows of stained glass. There were some cool old instruments in there too. No banjos, sorry Dad.

Then we decided to take the train to the Grand Arche. It's a big square arch type thing visible from the Arc de Triomphe. It's very cool-looking, with neat glass elevators and a computer museum in the top. Unfortunately, it was closed for repairs. Still, there was a mall and a movie theater near by. We had lunch, ate on the steps of the arch, then went inside to wander the mall a little. Then we watched Prince of Persia. It was an entertaining enough movie, though very much lacking in substance.

Then we headed home. Julia took a nap and I caught up with the internet, then we left to eat at 7. We had some absolutely fantastic pasta. Julia's ravioli was better than my lasagna, but they were both very good. Then we went to see another movie, Kick-ass this time. It was pretty funny, and very gory, but I enjoyed it.

Then we went to bed.

This morning, we missed breakfast. That was okay, though, we just went to a different Boulangerie and bought croissants that were a lot better than the ones they served at the hostel. Then we took the Metro to the Louvre. We decided not to explore the Louvre more, and instead walked through the Tuileries to the museum that housed modern art not by Monet. It didn't open until 12, so we started walking back to the gardens. A creepy man told me I was "très jolie" and asked me for a kiss. He started following us until Julia yelled at him to go away. Then we sat around for a while until noon.

There were really cool photographs from the 1940s by an artist named Lisette Model. They were mostly of regular, every day people sitting around, or singing, or anything. There were a lot of fat models. Also some famous musicians like Louis Armstrong. We had a bit of trouble with les toilettes at one point because they were both marked occupé, but clearly it wasn't the case. Turned out they weren't as locked as they seemed, though. We managed to go. Then we watched a little video about a slug on a fern and some musicians. It was neat.

We left the museum and had some hot chocolate outside. Like all the hot chocolate in this city, it was magnificent. We headed to La Carousel under the Louvre, which is basically a mall. There wasn't really anything to do there, so we headed to a different mall, Lafayette.

It was a weird mall. For one thing, there aren't a bunch of stores. Just one with different little sections for everything unseparated by walls. It's also a beautiful space. There's a big, colorful dome over everything made of stained glass and arches. It almost let me forget that we were deep in enemy territory. That would refer to the mall. Malls are my enemy territory.

We had Chinese food for lunch, which made Julia very happy. I enjoyed the spring rolls and fried rice, and even tried a dumpling! It was all good, though the beef satay was one stick short of perfect. And a little spicy. Still, an enjoyable meal.

We shopped around a little more before heading back to the hotel. Which brings us to where we are now.

I'll do a final update tomorrow after landing, but I suspect this sums up the interesting points of our trip. Thanks for following my blog, everyone! It's been fun!

Delay!

2010-06-01T15:54:00.000-07:00

Tonight's blog entry will be delayed due to me forgetting to write it until it was late at night and I felt like sleeping. Check back later for an update!

Paris Day 7

2010-05-31T14:21:00.000-07:00

Today Mom, Dad, and Elise abandoned us. It was tragic. No, not really, we knew they were leaving without us. We packed up and finished off the cheese in some eggs in the morning, then went to the train station. There, we separated, Julia and I to the Oops! Youth Hostel and everyone else to the airport.

We found the Youth Hostel pretty easily, but we couldn't check in yet. They did let us leave our suitcases there, though, so we left with only our backpacks and purses. We took the Metro to the Pompidou. It's a very cool museum. The escalators are on the outside in big see-through plastic tubes, so you can look out over Paris as you go up. Julia's camera broke on the way up. We're looking into fixing it, but it's possible that this is the end of Paris photos. I guess I'll just have to keep up my thousand words, huh?

We started at the top floor. There were two galleries we couldn't visit because they cost extra money we didn't feel like paying, but there was also a restaurant we couldn't afford. More important than the restaurant was the restaurant's host, our very own Laura Jude. We said hello and chatted for a bit, then agreed to meet up another day.

We went down to the Museum proper. The art in it was very cool and modern, and occasionally creepy. There were a lot of naked women who seemed rather uncomfortable, like the one on video using a hula hoop of barbed wire, or the one holding a headless chicken as it wriggled. Our favorite parts were the fractal images, a giant, green plexiglass oval with the "sortie" symbol, a pile of rubble with a hole in the ceiling that suggested parts had fallen out, and then there was our favorite exhibit.

It was called "Night During the Day" or something, and when we went in the screen was black. It was all dark except for a bit of light illuminating the seats, and the faint glow of the black screen. There were bird noises all around. We sat down to look at it and see if anything would happen other than the screen being blank. It seemed like the screen was moving away from us, but we weren't sure if it was just our imagination or not. We sat there for a long time, staring at the blank screen and thinking about what it was. Then a bunch of loud people came in and we left. On the wall we saw something about a film schedule and realized that maybe we hadn't been actually looking at a work of art, it was... just a blank screen. I'm pretty sure that's not true, but the fact remains that the exhibit we liked best, that we thought about most, was a freaking blank screen. I find it hilarious.

Then it was lunch place. We stopped at a little crepe and sandwich stand. I got a sandwich, Julia got a crepe. The server was so creepy. He kept asking us how long we were in Paris, and when we said only a few days, he went, "Oh, that is not enough time for us to date, how will I make you love me?" It was very sketchy. We decided to take our food elsewhere to actually eat it. He also spent forever making Julia's crepe, even after he finished cooking another, similar crepe he'd started at the same time. Still, we both loved our food. I need to have more savory crepes in my life.

We walked around for a little bit searching for either a movie theater or a place for Julia to get a cute little notebook. We found neither and decided to head back to the Youth Hostel neighborhood. We wanted to watch Iron Man or Robin Hood, but neither was showing at a good time. So we kept walking. We couldn't find ice cream, which was too bad because I really wanted some. We did find a nice patisserie where we bought a mini croissant and a mini pain au chocolat.

When four o'clock struck, we went back to the Hostel for check-in. The stairway and downstairs are nice enough, but the room is not very nice. I suppose it is what it is. Cheap student housing. Still, I plan to sleep in my clothes and not use the blanket. It hits my texture squick hard.

We hung out in our room a while, then went to see Robin Hood. They only had Iron Man dubbed, and that's no good. Robin Hood had subtitles, so the only problem was when people spoke French and the normal, English subtitles they had were gone. Luckily, I know enough French that I could follow along, and Julia had already seen it. Good movie, though I could only enjoy it the same way I enjoy TV shows like Merlin and Smallville. Fun, good story, pay no attention to the legendary inaccuracies behind the curtain. But I did like it.

It ended around nine o'clock, or in other words, dinner time. There was a cute pizza store a few blocks down, so we went in. The waiters here were sort of creepy too. They kept making French jokes I barely understood. The pizza was very good, though. Julia had delicious chocolate cake for desert, and I had decent chocolate mousse. I liked hers better. They brought us free drinks with the checks and tucked a sparkly stick thing into Julia's hair. Like I said, they were creepy. The drinks were good, though. They looked like tequila sunrises, but they had no alcohol in them. I guess that's the mixed blessing of being young, attractive American girls in Paris. Creepy waiters flirt with you, but they also bring you free drinks.

Then we went back to the hostel and rented towels. There were two Argentinian men in the room who are staying in the bunk across from ours. They're backpacking across Europe, apparently. One is very tall and plays basketball. The other doesn't want to get addicted to computers. We chatted for a while, then they left for a club. Which brings us to now.

And the new Scott Pilgrim trailer looks awesome. I cannot wait for that movie.

Photos and Books

2010-05-30T15:24:00.000-07:00

Some things I should mention before I forget.

Julia's got pictures up here. You need to be friends with her on Facebook to view them.

Also, the book I've been reading is Fool Moon by Jim Butcher. It's Book 2 in the Dresden Files. It's about a wizard named Harry Dresden who works in Chicago. It's part fantasy, part noir, and I like it a lot.

Paris Day 6

2010-05-30T13:46:00.000-07:00

Today's entry's gonna be short due to my head feeling like I ate my wife when she was pregnant and now our full-grown daughter is inside my head in full battle armor clambering to get out.

We had delicious croissants for breakfast. Then we rode the Metro to L'Arc de Triomphe. The statues were undergoing maintenance, but they had pictures of what they were supposed to look like over the real ones. We stood underneath and looked around for a while before going up. Yay for museum passes that get us places free! The stairs were long and winding and took forever to get up. At the first level, we saw a bunch of random statues and exhibits, plus a screen that showed the view from above of all the tourists down below. We went up to the level with the gift shop and all sorts of other exhibity things. Then we went up to the top where we could see the city. Great view. I saw a bunch of places we've been. Then we went down again. I lost my family when I went to the bathroom, but I found them at the bottom. Then I went to the center and made faces and waved at the camera. I cared not that I looked like an idiot, I showed those spying bastards that I know they're watching!

Then we walked down the Champs-Élysée. I finally got a watch. We quit about half way through and got lunch. It was delicious. We caught the Metro to the Left Bank and wandered around a little before heading to our relatives' houses. I didn't know about these relatives until this trip, but they're pretty cool people. Albert has a huge collection of African masks that were on the walls. There were a lot of other people there of ages varying from 15 to I-didn't-ask-but-old. Some of us could only speak French, others only English. Then there was a group (myself included) that could speak a bit of one and were fluent in the other. Still, it made conversation interesting and multi-lingual. I did manage to explain what NaNoWriMo is in French, though. That was cool. There was a lot of food. Albert kept bringing out different fruits and pastries. It was pretty nice. It was also four hours of socialization. It may be the origin of said horrible headache, though I had none of the champagne.

Then we went to have a pizza/lasagna dinner at a place that wasn't terrible, but wasn't amazing. I enjoyed it, though. I left by metro because my head hurt and I wanted to get home, and the rest of the family followed more slowly.

Paris Day 5

2010-05-29T17:34:00.000-07:00

We had a late start today. Lots of sleeping in and that kind of thing. It was nice. We had a wonderful, fresh from the oven baguette and warm milk for breakfast. Then we straggled out of the apartment and to the metro. I started reading my book. That proved to be a mistake. Thanks to my family knowing how I get when I'm absorbed in a book, I did not end up in Lyon or something, but it was a very near thing. We went to Montmartre and came out near the Moulin Rouge. It was very cool. There were topless women in the pictures, but none of them had snakes biting their nipples... that we noticed. Snake-biting-nipple count remains at two.

We started ambling up towards Sacre Cœur through the narrow streets. They were paved with stones and very beautiful. There was a cupcake shop! Cupcakerie? I don't know. I sort of wandered away while Elise was looking at shoes and my dad was doing... something because remember what I said about my book? I really wanted to finish my chapter. As would soon become a theme in my day, I almost lost the rest of my family, but didn't.

We started walking again, and dad claims he saw Van Gogh's house, but I'm not certain he's telling the truth. It might be a different house with a plaque we couldn't read in the photograph. Then we kept walking.

It started to rain, and we took refuge in a food place. The waiter was very mean, cutting me off when I started to ask for an omelette with a sharp, "No omelettes!" So we left. Maybe their food would have been good, but it wasn't worth it.

We crossed the street to a square surrounded with art. There were tented food place in the middle with much nicer waiters. The food was mediocre. My burger was pretty good, though.

We didn't go far after we paid the bill. Our main reason for visiting Montmartre was to get portraits done, and this is where the portrait artists congregated. The problem was picking one. Everyone felt the need to accost us, offering us "special prices" just for us, apparently lower than their regular prices. It was difficult to say no, but really, not too difficult. We found someone to paint Elise, Julia, and me. In that order. That meant I got to wander around being accosted by other painters for a while. I did see one artist who did more interesting portraits. He had a minimalist, water color and marker type style. It was different. And beautiful. I got him to do one of me. It's awesome.

While I was posing, apparently there was a naked woman painting herself blue in the street, but I did not see it, only heard about it from Dad and Elise.

I finished right as the family artist finished drawing Julia. Time for me to sit still staring at an artist for another decade! Elise and Dad had caricatures done while they were waiting. Reportedly, Elise's is great and Dad's less so. Julia had a portrait done by an artist who made a beautiful picture, but it wasn't of Julia. Then the parents decided to get another portrait of the two of them by the artist who drew the three of us. I went to a cafe for hot chocolate, crepes, and reading. I really like my book. The waiter was really nice and we talked about my studies. Then I got cold.

You have to understand, I was wearing a dress. It's a very cute dress, purple and flowery with a skirt that goes down to a bit above my knees. It's wonderful in the summer, less so when it's windy, cold and rainy and I have no sweatshirt. I tried calling the family but couldn't find them. I walked through the church, hoping they were there and also enjoying the lack of it being freezing in there. No family, though. After walking around a little more, I located them where I'd left them. I hung out with them a little, then walked away on a futile quest for an affordable yet cute sweatshirt that didn't say "I <3 Paris" or anything. (Seriously, it could at least be J'<3 Paris. I mean, come on.) Everything was crazy expensive. I finally made a successful call and told the parents I was going home. One metro ride later, I wandered up to our warm apartment and curled up with some Buffy.

Meanwhile, every tourist baiter in the city targeted the rest of my family. Some French-Africans who constantly said "Jumbo Jumbo Hakuna Matata" made them buy friendship bracelets. They went to the church too. That's all I really know about their time without me.

We went to a great place on the corner for diner. Then we went back to the apartment to a movie for them and more Buffy for me. I'd already seen the movie.

Paris Day 4

2010-05-28T17:37:00.001-07:00

Today was Versailles Day! First we ate breakfast at a cute little boulangerie patisserie. Delicious croissants for all! Plus, I had some fantastic hot chocolate. They really do chocolate well here.

Then we headed down to the RER (after some arguments about how to pronounce R-E-R and for the record, I was right), and went to Versailles. Apparently Mom read some facts at my sisters and dad about the palace, but I don't know what since at the time I was asleep.

The view walking up to the palace was breathtaking. There's so much gold! And the sun was behind us so it sparkled. The gate was entirely gold and simply fantastic.

Less fantastic were the lines. Even with our museum passes we had to wait for a very long time. And once we were in there was a line for the bathroom. I decided to hold it. That was a horrible, horrible mistake.

I quickly grew sick of the crowds. We had originally planned to get there earlier, and maybe it would have helped. But as it was, the place was so packed it was hard to get a good look at anything. And most of the palace was cordoned off. Sure, some of it probably needs restoration or whatever, but some of it, like the chapel, seemed to be cordoned off just to control traffic. It bothered me. I hate being told where to go.

The rooms and paintings were pretty, but the crush of people was so unpleasant that I had trouble enjoying it. All right, I kind of hated it. I did find things to admire, like the beautiful architecture and some styles of paintings I recognized from Roman studies. The art itself wasn't Roman, but the style was similar enough for me to recognize it. I skipped out before the Dauphin's rooms. The completionist in me wanted to go on, but my bladder said screw that. Plus, I was not enjoying myself. I left to find the bathroom.

There was a very, very long line. No problem, there'd be other toilettes. No such luck. Well, some such luck. But the line for that one was long too. Reluctantly, I got in line. Luckily, I had Harry Dresden to keep me company.

A few chapters in, my parents found me. At this point I was very cranky, but my mother claimed to have a better, cleaner, less line-filled bathroom. We moved. There was still a line. I read more. I peed. That made it lunch time.

I managed to snag the last tomato/basil/mozzarella sandwich, which was great for me, less good for the rest of everyone. Still, it was delicious, though we later saw a dozen other places that would have been better.

After lunch, it was time to look at the gardens. The first side was very pretty, if not as exciting as we hoped. Then we turned the corner.

They stretched out as far as we could see. Further, possibly. These gorgeous hedge mazes and lakes and statues poking out around the bushes. We had to look closer.

We wandered through the hedges, turning at random and enjoying the pretty statues and topiary and down to the big lake in the middle. We sat down and admired the ducks and the terrifyingly huge fish. FISH SHOULD NOT GET THAT LARGE, OKAY? IT ISN'T RIGHT. I lay down and started reading because I love reading outside in the grass. I should really do it more often. Then my parents and sisters decided to go check out the boat-rentage deal. It turned out they could rent a boat, but only four people were allowed. Me being the martyr I am, I volunteered to sit it out. I read a little, but mostly ended up taking a nap in the sun. This was very fun and good, except now I have a very mild sunburn on my cheeks. Oh well. I regret nothing.

Then it was time to head on home. We stepped into another hedgemaze, managed to get lost between paths, had an exciting time with a bathroom sans toilet paper, and saw another statue of a woman with a snake biting her nipple. Now we know it's Cleopatra. I don't remember the snake biting her nipple. I think people made that part of the story up.

We eventually found ourselves again and boarded the RER. Our stop was right by the Eiffel Tower. I shun touristy things when I can (see: my attitude towards Versailles), and I've been up the Eiffel Tower on both previous trips, so I was more than willing to skip the lines and hassle of going up. My sisters and parents did want to go, though. But first we stopped for tea and crepes. The crepes were very mediocre. They also gave us croissants we thought were free but they made us pay for. Which sucked because they were crappy croissants and we didn't order them.

I split off after that. From what I heard, my dad and Elise climbed the tower while Julia and my mom watched skateboarders trying to jump off the tower. There's some record they're trying to break. I don't know, I was busy losing my way.

Which I did, of course. Strange city? No map? Limited sense of direction? I got lost. Luckily, I knew my way from the apartment to my metro station. After crossing the bridge accidentally, finding a 50¢ piece, looking at a map on the side of a metro station, and recrossing, I eventually oriented myself and reached the apartment. I had my chocolate truffle from the french store to celebrate. It was utterly divine. I'm having a taste flashback now. Oh, man, was it good.

Then the rest of the family came home with bread, cheese, and wine. We ate it. Unsurprisingly, it too was delicious. Some of the best brie, goat cheese, and other cheese that certainly is called something I've ever had. Good wine, too. I was sad when we finished it.

None of us were ready for dinner, so I retreated to my room for Buffy time while the parents and sisters finished the movie they'd started when I was writing my essay. I'd seen it before and had no interest. They enjoyed it, though. And I enjoyed Buffy.

We went across the street for dinner at an Italian place. I had a wonderful pasta dish with tomatoes, almonds, and salad all mixed in. It was a little spicy, but I loved it.

The we went home. They watched the movie's sequel and I, of course, watched more Buffy. Elise watched the end of the episode where Xander falls for the praying mantis woman before she went to bed. I read in the room with her for a while when my Dad stole the computer. It was nice.

Paris Day 3

2010-05-27T15:43:00.001-07:00

Today we slept in! It was beautiful. We left pretty late in the day to go to the Louvre. Our train first we stopped to look at the Arc de Triomphe from the Obelisk because that was where our train stopped. It was a pretty neat view, though it would have been nice if there was less fog and we could actually see it. Then we went to the Musée de l'Orangerie to look at the gorgeous Monet paintings. They were huge, taking up the entire wall each, and the colors were amazing! We spent a while there, then went outside to cross the Tuileries Garden. It was very wet, though the flowers were pretty. Eventually it started raining so hard that we took refuge in a cafe. I had hot chocolate and an egg and tomato salad. It was amazing, especially the hot chocolate.

After we paid, it was finally Louvre time! Now, you might not know, but I just finished a course on Roman architecture. That meant I got to blabber at my parents and sisters about how l'Arc de Triomphe is not really a Triumphal Arch in the Roman sense because it doesn't have the proper amount of arches. And point out phalanxes and winged victories and basically be an enormous geek about it all. There's a reason my mother enjoys going to art museums with me. I know stuff. We also got a great view of the Obelisk and l'Arc de Triomphe superimposed on each other like something phallic piercing something yonic. It was wonderful and I snickered a lot.

Speaking of wonderful, the pyramids and the whole entrance to the Louvre are very pretty. There was the coolest elevator, though we didn't take it. It was a round platform that rose and sank into the ground. The stairs spiraled down around it. It is pretty much the coolest elevator I've ever seen.

We had a bit of trouble getting in because although students can get in for free, that only applies to students from Europe. Julia and I needed to buy passes, but now we can go anywhere for free. Elise is under eighteen and gets in free anyway. Finally, we made it.

Our first stop was the ancient Roman art section. Remember what I said about me and Roman art and architecture and knowing stuff? I was in full swing here, answering questions, telling stories, explaining who people were and why they were important... it was awesome. We took some great pictures. One of my favorites was the one of me, Julia, and Elise in the same position of the Three Graces.

We also saw a bunch of statues of Emperors, many of which I recognized from my studies. Augustus was pretty cool, for instance. We saw the Venus de Milo, which I'd missed the last time I went, and she was as beautiful as expected. There was a great Athena statue as well. I appreciated that one a lot. Athena's one of my favorite goddesses. There was also a gorgeous Artemis, but it was hard to photograph her since crowds kept gathering.

I need to pause a moment to mention how amazing the ceilings were. They were beautiful colors, often guilded, always with paintings all around. They were breathtaking, especially in the Greek section.

Then, it was upstairs past the Winged Victory and over to the Renaissance stuff. Yes, we saw the Mona Lisa. It's a nice painting.

Dad and I broke off from the other family members to keep looking at the Renaissance stuff. I wanted more Leonardo da Vinci. No luck. But we did see a nice picture of a topless woman with a snake biting her nipple! We both thought that one was funny.

We wandered back to try and find the siblings and mother, but instead we found more amazing ceilings and some large pictures of a very short emperor. Napoleon, I mean. The paintings were gorgeous, though. After a while, we headed back to the front. Not a moment too soon; I felt like my feet were going to fall off.

We had some chocolate and water, then wandered off to find the Metro station. At this point I really had to go to the bathroom. We found a very posh looking place where they made us pay a euro to pee. I thought we should have splurged and gone for the 1.5€ toilet "with grand comfort." They also sold some of the most colorful toilet paper I've ever seen.

We went to le Merais after that. We had a dinner date with my former exchange student Laura, but we were early. We sat in a cafe drinking warm milk with honey and other tasties for a while, then started wandering towards the restaurant. We passed a gallery with the coolest art. There were these giant, colorful circles filled with sand that spun on the wall. Julia and Elise were mesmerized. I was more taken by the piece with the grid of wires that seemed to move in dizzying ways every time we moved our heads. We chatted with the woman for a long time before we started off again.

We stopped for a while so that Dad could watch the French Open in a shoe store while Mom and the sisters looked at jewelry. I was my usual exciting self and... sat outside and read. But to be fair, it's a really good book.

They finished and we started walking through the neighborhood. We'd somehow ended up in the Jewish corner of town, so we got to admire all the challah and falafel. We went into another jewelry store, and this time I saw a necklace I really liked. It had two lightning bolts coming off a pretty chain. I tried it on, and it turns out I didn't like it 80€ worth. It looked better off me, so not worth the price.

We were early for our meeting, so we went across the street to the Picasso museum. It was closed, but there was a playground out front with all sorts of funky climbing walls and spinny discs on which to play. Elise, Mom, and I played around on it for a while. Then we went to the restaurant.

Everything was in French. I know you're all shocked that there were people speaking French in Paris, but mostly as soon as we show up anywhere everyone immediately switches to English. Luckily, Laura showed up pretty quickly to translate. I had a fish type dish, though I liked Laura's veal better. For desert, I shared an apple tart with Julia. It was amazing.

Afterwards, we walked through the city with Laura to get to the Metro station. It was closed for some reason, so we ended up taking a cab. The Eiffel Tower looked beautiful as we drove by it all lit up for the night.

Interlude: How to Comment

2010-05-27T03:04:00.000-07:00

It has come to my attention that certain visitors to this blog are having difficulty with the comment system. By come to my attention, I mean they keep emailing me. So here's a quick tutorial!

If you're reading this from the main page, at the bottom of each entry there are a bunch of links. One of them reads "__ comments" with a number in the blank. If you click on it, a new window will pop up with all the comments left so far and a box where you can type your own comment. There are several options of how you can post. If you have a google account, you can use that. Or you can put your name and a URL, or your name and no URL. You can comment anonymously (though then I won't know who you are). Ignore the OpenID stuff unless you already know what it is.

If you're on an individual entry's page, it's even easier. There's a link on the bottom that says "Post a Comment." Click it. Follow the same process outlined above.

That make everything clearer?

Then I am off to look at pretty French things!

Paris Day 2

2010-05-26T14:33:00.001-07:00

Today started out horribly early. By which I mean 9 AMish. That's horribly early. We have so many really steep stairs to get from the ground to our fifth floor apartment, so my legs ached too. Great start, right? Well, we had pain au chocolat (chocolate croissants) for breakfast, so it was actually pretty good. Then we left for Notre Dame.

We had fun arguing over what train route was the fastest, but we ended up getting to Île de la Cité without too much trouble. Then we wandered around for a while because it's apparently pretty difficult to locate the big honking church. But we found it, and it was beautiful. We wandered up to the front taking photographs as we went. I, of course, complained because I hate photographs and touristy things, but I posed for a few of them, took a few more. Then we went in.

I've been to Notre Dame before. I'm pretty sure I didn't go on my second France trip, but the first time, with the Chicago Grandparents, then I did go. But that was seventh grade. I'm much older now, and I've taken a course on Roman architecture. Notre Dame was not built during Roman times, but I did learn a bit about churches towards the end, so I could spot all sorts of Roman architectural bits. Like the barrel arches. There are some very nice barrel arches. The windows and paintings were simply gorgeous. Dad saw a baby on a stick or something that he and the sisters were laughing over. "Shishkababy," they called it. I myself did not see it.

Dad, Julia, and I all visited the treasury together to look at all the relics and clothes and shiny golden cups and stuff the church keeps. There was a very sparkly diamond encrusted something that was actually a copy of the real thing. There were also two human bones. I think they belonged to saints, but I didn't ask. It was all together very cool.

My favorite statue was the one of Saint Jeanne D'Arc, or Joan of Arc for those of you who prefer English. I've always loved Joan of Arc, and hearing that this church is where they decided she was a martyr, not a heretic, was very cool. I was feeling pretty spiritual thanks to all the music and stained glass and general beauty of the place, so I paid two euros for a candle, lit it, and put it near her statue with all the other candles. I figured if I was going to honor a saint, it might as well be the awesome warrior woman one.

Then it was lunch time! The original plan was to go to the Samaritaine (a large department store) and eat on the top floor overlooking the city, but that plan broke when the Samaritaine suffered from a bad case of being closed. So we kept walking in search of somewhere else.

The place we ended up eating, Chez Alexandre, was not great. Wasn't bad, but it wasn't really fantastic. They took a while seating us, and our waiter kept flirting with Julia in a slightly creepy way. He took a picture of all of us, then took a few more just of her, though we didn't know it till we got the camera back. One of me and her which was pretty cute, though. Julia threatened to give him mono... but just to us, not to the waiter himself.

Then it was time to wander around Paris for souvenirs and fun. We stopped at an amazing chocolate store to get truffles. I haven't eaten mine yet, but I promise a full report when I do! Then we went to a store called Collettes that was supposed to be very trendy and cute. It was pretty cute, but it was also très chere. I thought about getting a watch because I really need one, but I ended up deciding to wait for one that's cheaper or that I love. There was a water bar in the basement. I'm still not exactly sure what a water bar is, but there were a ton of different types of water on the menu. One was 50€. We didn't purchase that one. I actually had mango juice instead of water. It was delicious.

I split off from the group and headed home on the metro alone. I managed not to get horribly lost! It was fun. I also purchased anti-itch creme and chapstick in French. It was exciting. Then I went home and fell asleep for a while. The parents and sisters rejoined me, and we watched Hunchback of Notre Dame. The Disney version. It bothered me in how it was different from the original. I've seen it before, but I'm more educated now. I should actually read the original so that I can actually defend this annoyance. Also, the PC term for gypsies? Rom. Not gypsies. This is one of those things I pick up. But the architecture was cool, and I recognized things in the movie from Notre Dame. As far as I could tell, they didn't make too many horrible errors there.

Then it was dinner time! We went to another cafe. I had an omelette. It was delicious. Then we had melty chocolate cake thingy, you know, the kind with the molten center. It was amazing. Then followed home time. Tomorrow: Sacré-Cœur and the Louvre!

Paris Day 1

2010-05-25T13:02:00.000-07:00

The flight was fairly uneventful for me. First, I finished Essay #1. Then, I watched the only episode of Buffy I haven't seen. For those curious, it was "Enemies," in Season 3. I accidentally skipped it when I stopped watching for a while and started up again and didn't bother going back because that was before I actually liked Angel and man did I want Season 3 to be over so I could get back to having Spike around. I also slept a lot. My Dad read a book about raising children. My mom and sister sat next to some US Marshals. My mom found out because the one next to her refused to move, which scared her until he showed her his badge. It was all very exciting. Also, the bathrooms in the airport in Paris had really pretty murals.

We shared a cab with some woman for reasons I don't entirely understand, but I think have to do with her being in a similar area and getting to the man who had been sent by the people who own our apartment to pick us up before we did. She was very nice, though. From South Africa. There was a lot of traffic. We got to our apartment, but the former occupants hadn't ditched yet. We left our suitcases and wandered off to find a cafe for breakfast. There were croissants and delicious hot chocolate, plus a cheese omelette and Elise got a long piece of bread with butter and jam. We had various fruit juices as well. Mine was grapefruit!

We still had time to kill, so we wandered down the street and looked at bookstores and fruit stands. There were some pricey but delicious looking cherries. Also, I learned how to say vampire in French! "Vampire." I believe it's pronounced "Vam-peer."

Then we wandered back to the hotel for internet/nap time. It was good. We had a bit more food and the parents left with Elise to visit the Rodin museum while Julia stayed home and slept and I worked on Essay #2. After that, it was dinner time. I liked the fish and had a delicious apple type desert. Dad got cheese. It was amazing.

And now it's time for more Essay #2 because if I don't finish it today, it will never be finished, followed by bed. See you tomorrow!

Pre-Flight Bloggage

2010-05-24T14:28:00.000-07:00

I'm heading to Paris! I'm bringing my mother, father, and sisters with me! Not much to say so far. We got through security, no trouble, and we're waiting for our flight. I'm planning on doing work, sleeping, and hopefully reading on the flight. We'll see.

Anyway, wanted to tell everyone that this is the space to watch for future updates. Well, this blog in general. I have an RSS feed, did you know? Or you can just check back daily. I'll be updating to tell what we've been doing every day. So keep an eye out.

Wow, an actual post!

2009-10-08T08:48:00.000-07:00

I wrote another superhero poem. Three, actually. A sonnet and two haikus. One of them originally was a Twitter post. Oh, twitter, how little I miss thee. I might still go back some day, I suppose.

Romantic Interest

By day I am a normal human girl.
You've seen me at the office, in the back.
By night I'm in a fully diff'rent world
When masked all evil's forces I attack.

And no, you've never seen me in the night.
I've seen you, though, and saved you once or twice.
But on you walked. You thought that all was right.
You'll never see the grime and crime and vice.

I wish I could just tell you all this stuff!
Perhaps you'd see me then in night and day.
I wouldn't need to run when things got rough.
But honestly, I know what you would say.

"This 'superhero' thing? It isn't real!"
It is. I am. Don't tell me how to feel.

And the haikus:

Pants:

Best part of having
the house to myself: pants are
fully optional.

Origins:

I fell in a pit
of radioactive waste.
I'm dead, not super.

Happy July 4th!

2009-07-03T21:08:00.000-07:00

To celebrate, have the preamble to the constitution as only Shatner can read it!

Funny Face Friday #1!

2009-06-26T20:05:00.000-07:00

In yet another devious plot to keep my blog active and alliterative, I've added another event! Every Friday, you get some sort of funny face, whether it's a photo, a drawing, or, as is this case, a comic book panel.

This is possibly my favorite Wolverine panel ever. It comes from Ms. Marvel #40, a comic which also boasts some of the best Deadpool I've read in a while.

Metaphor Monday #2

2009-06-22T18:50:00.001-07:00

Metaphor Monday was such a hit last week that I'm doing it again this week! Which I'd been planning on doing anyway. Which is good because I'm still not sure what constitutes a hit in a blog with... what, 8 readers? I love you guys!

Literary analysis is like ping pong. You take a sentence or a phrase or an idea and bounce it around, trying to get it over all obstacles and keep it on the table. Occasionally, you miss entirely and it rolls under the stairs, or ends up in the cat litter. Ironically, those are the papers teachers tend to grade highest.

Metaphor Monday #1

2009-06-15T18:52:00.000-07:00

In the interest of actually putting interesting things on this blog, I've decided to start a new weekly item. Every Monday, I will post a metaphor. It will probably be strange, and I will probably stretch it far past the breaking points because it is fun to do things like that to metaphors! Plus, I like alliteration.

So, for the first ever Metaphor Monday!

Courage is like pancakes because the more you have, the taller you stand. Also, I hear courage tastes delicious with syrup and fresh blueberries.

Parody Potatoes

2009-05-03T10:55:00.000-07:00

Huh, I haven't posted since April Fool's Day. I DIDN'T GO TO A CONVENT, PEOPLE! I WAS JOKING! I know, you were all fooled.

Anyway! Peter David is writing a parody of Twilight called Potato Moon. It's a round robin sort of thing with a lot of people taking a turn.

Anyway, I wrote a chapter. It's some of the most alliterative work I've ever written. And ridiculous. Anyway, you can find it here. I'm pretty sure it stands on its own, though the rest of it's pretty good too.

Direction in Life

2009-04-01T11:42:00.000-07:00

I've been having a lot of thoughts of where and what to do with my life. It's been really difficult for me, living like this. School doesn't excite me, I'm hardly keeping up with my writing, I've even been, I'll admit, a little depressed.

I've always wanted to be a writer, but I don't think that's right for me. In fact, I've realized writing is what's been holding me back. Both writing and reading. I've been so involved with the fictional world, I've ignored the real world. My social life is a wreck, I'm barely passing school, I'm so involved in fiction, I've practically lost my sense of what is real and what isn't.

It isn't healthy. But I couldn't see that for far too long. I was too busy thinking about what will happen in Blackest Night? Who will be on the new roster of the Teen Titans? When will the next Neil Gaiman book come out?

But I've found something better than all of that.

I've found religion.

Yes, I've accepted Jesus Christ as my lord and savior, and I don't see how I could ever have felt otherwise.

And I'm going to pursue this farther. I need to get more in touch with my inner-self, with my soul. I'm dropping out of college. It hasn't been doing anything for me anyway. There's this nunnery in Vermont that I want to find. I'm going to join and find my true, Christian soul.

This is a big change for me. I'm a little nervous, and very excited. I'm not sure what will happen after this, but it's definitely going to be better than my life has been.

Writer's Block

2009-03-26T20:38:00.000-07:00

You may have noticed a failure to post for a while recently. I'm a little blocked up, writing-wise. Sometimes it's hard to keep it up. I love writing, and I'm good at it, but I get discouraged sometimes, you know? It's hard remembering that I need to work at it, that I need to not get discouraged by how few people read my blog, to remember that the readers will come if I provide incentive. I need to update this more often. I need to write more. I need to finish posting my boat journal entries. They aren't my finest work ever, but I want them preserved in the great internet.

Anyway, I'm done whining. I did write something tonight. John Rogers, former writer of Blue Beetle and current writer of Leverage, which I keep meaning to watch, suggested a writing exercise. He said you should write a scene from the point of view of supporting cast members, and villains, anyone other than the protagonist, as if they were the main character of the story. It's a pretty obvious idea now that I think about it, but hey, sometimes it takes someone else pointing it out.

Anyway, I tried it with a character from my NaNoWriMo novel. Bernadine Dale. Whom I have renamed Nadine Dale because I like it better. It was really interesting. I found out a lot about her I hadn't known before.

Anyway, here it is:

Nadine Dale was not a jealous person. When Roxie got the lead in the school play, Nadine was entirely sincere in her congratulations. She told herself there wasn't a bit of her that wanted that spotlight a little more. When Grant aced a test without studying, she was happy for him. Even if she'd studied hard all week and only scraped up a B minus. Friendship came before her own happiness.

But this was almost too much. Roxie was dating a superhero? Roxie hadn't told her she was dating a superhero? Some best friend.

Not that Nadine was jealous. Nadine didn't get jealous. Not even a little.

So what that Roxie was the center of attention, and Nadine wasn't? It wasn't like Roxie was enjoying herself. Roxie hated all the attention. Which, Nadine had to admit, was probably why Roxie hadn't told her about her relationship with Golden Sun. Nadine was known to be a bit of a gossip. But she would have kept Roxie's secret!

And Nadine wasn't even jealous that Roxie's boyfriend was the absolutely gorgeous Golden Sun. Who could fly. And had superpowers. That could probably be used in very interesting ways and there was no way in hell Nadine would finish that thought because fantasizing about her best friend's super-boyfriend? Not cool.

But Nadine wasn't jealous. She wouldn't let herself get jealous. Roxie was her best friend, and that friendship was too important to be torn apart by jealousy.

But she could go be happy for Roxie after another minute. First she had to stand under the staircase where no one was likely to see her. She had to crumple the newspaper closed and close her eyes tightly. She had to ignore her terrible track record with a string of boyfriends and girlfriends that hadn't lasted more than a few months, at most. She had to ignore her superhero idolatry. She had to ignore how it always seemed like it was someone else getting the lucky break. None of it was as important as Roxie's happiness.

Nadine wasn't jealous. She was happy. If it was the sort of happiness that made her insides clench up a little, well, no need to tell that to anyone.

For those wondering, Roxie isn't actually dating Golden Sun. The paper misinterpreted things.

I don't think I'm going to edit and publish my novel. There's too much wrong with it, and I think it would be better suited to a comic book anyway. I might try and write a script for it. Wish I knew more artists!

Boat Trip Day 3

2009-02-02T18:40:00.000-08:00

7/21/06

Rain sucks. So does standing at the helm for an hour and a half. Sleep is nice. So is peach cake thingy. I've finished reading my first book. I have no room to sit up. Going aloft is fun, if rather dangerous. I am very likely going to have dreads by the end of this. I've had longer times between showers, but I've never been filthier. I can't believe it's only been three days.

Emily* is neighbors with Gregory Maguire, the author of Wicked!

Fog sucks. Hopefully (knock on wood) there will be sun, clear skies, and good winds after the tropical storm we're sitting out passes.

Even more hopefully, we'll reach Nova Scotia quickly and go on land.

I don't really miss the internet so much as my friends and cleanliness. Even at home, I only yearn for the internet when there's nothing to do. Here, when there's nothing to do, I read, find something to eat, write, or sleep. The last one's my favorite. Or, more rarely, socialize. All in all, everything's okay.

*Name changed.

Boat Trip Day 2

2009-01-30T11:24:00.000-08:00

7/20/06

Yes, I'm starting late. Deal with it. We're on the run from a tropical storm. I'm helmsman in any emergency. So far, I've done a lot of dishes. It'd be like home, except at home, people have to bug me, I shower, and I don't get queasy. My writing also borders on legible at home.

I'm not seasick, and I'm hoping (knock on wood) that the very slight queasy feeling I have goes away.

There's loads of sleeping time, just not necessarily in a row.

Food is edible, and let's leave it at that. The problem is, their definition of a vegetarian meal is meat substitute.

Ah, well. I get by. I must now go to sleep in preparation for my four AM watch.

---

I realize I'm posting this later than I promised. I've been busy. Expect future installments to be more timely!

Plans and such!

2009-01-23T21:44:00.001-08:00

I'm thinking of ways to start updating this thing more often. I know all eight of you readers are really, really excited to hear that!

Anyway, I've got various ideas that I'm brainstorming, but the easiest one I plan to start very soon now.

A few years ago, I went on an Outward Bound schooner trip. I had to very literally learn the ropes. It was a lot of work, and a lot of fun.

Now, I'm a writer. I express myself better when I write, and I usually prefer writing to talking. Not always. But one thing I sort of hate is telling people about trips. That's why I blogged my England trip. But there was no internet on my boat trip.

So I did that thing people did before there were computers. I used a pen and a notebook. I know, I know, you forgot those things existed, didn't you? But they do, and I used them. So starting tomorrow, be prepared for Shana's Boat Journal! Presented almost exactly how I wrote it at sixteen! Though I may correct my spelling and grammar for sanity's sake.

Get excited! And more news on Coming Developments when I decide what they shall be!

Short stories!

2009-01-23T20:11:00.000-08:00

GailSimone has challenges on twitter every now and then. Six word stories, short descriptions, whatever.

Here are a few of mine.

Superhero puberty in eight words or less: Voice, hair, hormones, X-ray vision is more fun.

Six words or less, Any superhero's post-coital statement without cursing: "...Being the fastest man alive stinks." - The Flash

A complete story in one Twitter post, featuring comic characters, without the use of the letter 'e': Tara backstabs Gar and Titans. Tara is crazy.

The story, for those who are not comics-savy, is the Judas Contract. It's very good, and I highly recommend it.

Proposition 8 the Musical

2008-12-04T15:26:00.001-08:00

I don't know if there's anyone who hasn't seen this by now, but just in case!

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Neil Patrick Harris is my favorite part.

National Novel Writing Month Sestina

2008-11-26T18:52:00.000-08:00

I'll write the fifty thousand in a flash!
You watch, the words will come and I will write.
I'll have some problems, but they won't last long.
I've got my story, what an awesome plot!
I know that this will be the best November
Yes, NaNoWriMo isn't very hard.

I didn't think that it would be this hard.
These words don't work, and warnings seem to flash
At me that I should just forget November's
Challenge. I know that I can always write
My novel in another month. The plot
Is better for a story half as long…

But no! I've worked too hard for just too long
To give up now. I'll strain my brain so hard
It might explode. But I will have my plot!
Just come on, Shana, you can have a flash
Of genius! Oh, just watch me as I write!
You're almost half way through this year's November.

The words have left like leaves in dark November.
I knew it was too hard, too lame, too long.
And why did I not realize that to write
Was not my calling after all? Too hard
To think about it. My camera's flash
just couldn't freeze or capture any plot.

I'd rather drop my awful, flimsy plot.
I've got some homework due during November.
And plus, I'd rather read my brand new Flash
Comics. Neglected on my shelf too long.
I want to finish, but it's just too hard!
It takes more will than I have now to write.

But how can I ignore those that I write?
My hero's hanging off a cliff, my plot
Is not as bad as I had thought. It's hard
To not give up, but now awful November
is all but gone. I know it won't be long.
And in the darkness, guiding lights now flash.

Who knew? The brilliant flash hid a fine plot.
It might be cold and long just like November.
But I've worked hard, and somehow it's all right.

Story: Hallelujah

2008-11-22T23:09:00.000-08:00

His name was unpronounceable to humans. The few who tried died in the attempt. Eventually, no one tried.

Instead they called Him Kadosh, Zur, Tsaddiq, Magen, I-Am-What-I-Am, Melech, Yaweh, Jehova, Adonai. God.

Eventually they forgot His real name, remembering only that they weren't supposed to say it.

When He landed on Earth, in the sea, the splashes took forty days to come down.

Many died.

Noah survived.

When He hauled Himself out of the water, the sun gleamed off of his multicolored scales.

He lived in a satellite orbiting the Earth. It glowed white in the night sky. People saw His regular passage and based their calendars on Him.

Then came Abraham, who could hear His voice – or was it His thoughts? No one could tell. His words reverberated in the mind without ever passing the ears. He was the first. Sarah was the second. There were more who followed.

They worshiped Him, though He never said they should. He came from so far away, He could do so many great things.

Abraham begot Isaac begot Esau and Jacob begot many, many sons.

He didn't choose the Israelites. The Israelites chose Him. And as they amused Him, He protected them. Kept them safe. Answered the prayers He heard.

For a time.

Eventually He found a mate. The humans called her Shekina. They bore a child, a son, and planted him in the belly of a Jewish woman, Mary.

Then they left. He left the Earth to return to the planet on which He'd been born. The Earth belonged to the Son.

His son was born in a manger and they called him Joshua, Jesus, Christ. The Messiah. He had another name, but no one knew it. No one could pronounce it anyway.

People listened to Jesus. Perhaps it was the way his words seemed to echo in the brain. Perhaps it was the aura of power around him, the miracles he already could perform. The dark, bottomless eyes, like pits you could fall into forever and ever.

They listened to him when he spouted off whatever came into his head. "Turn the other cheek." "Blessed are the meek." “The Lord is thy shepherd.”

They listened. They followed. They trusted.

A few didn't trust. A few didn't believe. A few killed him.

As he had planned.

He spent three days cocooned in a graveyard after they killed the human shape he had worn since his birth. Then He emerged, multicolored scales shining in the light, tentacles trailing, fourth, fifth, eighth eyes opening, scales hardening. He looked to the sky and rocketed up, away, out of the universe.

His disciples said they saw him rise to Heaven.

“He’ll return to us,” they said. “We weren’t ready. He’ll return and when He does, we’ll be better people. We’ll live by His rules.”

“He died for our sins.”

He will return. He’ll find His own mate and have His own child on a different planet, but when the time is right He will return.

The atmosphere will burn with the ferocity of His coming. The people will see Him above Jerusalem and say, “He is back. He came back for us.”

And He will burrow deep into the Earth, as His father did the world He was born, and He will stay there for a decade, maybe two, and He will slowly die.

And when His time is up He will give a mournful howl and stretch his wings full length, pushing through the Earth, cracking the surface.

Then He will explode.

After His metamorphosis, He took a new name.

The closest human equivalent is Armageddon.

NaNoWriMo

2008-11-03T10:25:00.001-08:00

Well, it's NaNoWriMo, and you know what that means! That's right, instead of just procrastinating the things I'm supposed to do, I get to procrastinate the things I want to do! I'm at 5040 words right now, but that's less impressive than I'd like it to be since my friend is at 6279. I will catch up with her and win faster than she does! Just you watch!

Anyway, I thought I'd give a bit of a rundown on my characters and such here. Cause that's how I role.

Roxie Randall: She's a senior in high school. She's not popular, but she's not unpopular either. She had the misfortune of being saved by the superhero Golden Sun, and now everyone thinks she's dating him. Over the course of two days, she's had three attempts on her life or well-being and one attack by a rabid reporter. And trust me, it's only going to get worse from here.

Golden Sun: Atroch City's resident superhero. He's strong, fast, capable of flight, and able to shoot blasts of high-intensity sunlight at people. Great if you want a tan. He wears a lot of sparkly gold spandex and he's relatively respected in the superhero community. No, we don't know who he really is. Well, I do, but I'm not telling.

Bernadine Dale: Roxie's best friend. Bernadine is sarcastic, blond, and thinks she's far cleverer than she is. She enjoys talking about sex and she's probably bisexual. I haven't decided yet.

Grant Sollare: Roxie's other best friend. He's fairly laid back compared to Bernadine and generally a nice guy.

Melissa Randall: Roxie's mom. She's nice enough, though not very attentive to her daughter. She did worry for a bit when she heard Roxie was dating a superhero, but mostly she leaves her daughter alone and her daughter leaves her alone. Except when Roxie needs money, of course.

Leslie Lempkins: A reporter for Atroch City Herald. She enjoys maliscious gossip.

Those are the characters who'll probably be big that have appeared thus far. Other folks of note:

Momentum: A speedster in the Honor Council. She's pretty cool. I don't know if I'll manage to use her or not, but I'd like to.

Goose Girl: Bernadine's favorite little-known superhero. She'll probably make at least a cameo. Her nemesis, the Fox, may also appear.

Delta: A shapeshifting alien in the Honor Council.

Visionary: The leader of the Honor Council. A master strategist and a damn good fighter. May have once worked for the government.

Brainmeats: The computer genius who coordinates and manages the Honor Council. May or may not exist.

The Mad Machinator, Dangerously Armed, Estimater: Various villains. None of whom are likely to be the main villain for the story. Though I really liked Dangerously Armed. He might make a comeback. Or maybe not. We'll see.

Rick Randall: Roxie's dad. He died when Roxie was very, very young. She barely remembers him.

Oh, and for those wondering? Yes, Momentum and Delta are the same heroes as mentioned here.

Untitled Sonnet

2008-11-02T17:35:00.000-08:00

I will not cry for what we never had,
Though once I thought I needed you to live.
Our parting makes me thoughtful, never sad.
I tried it all, there's nothing left to give.
Instead of duets that had come too soon,
I should have sang a solo sort of song.
Together, we were only out of tune.
My one regret? I let it last this long.
You've left me and I really just don't care.
My heart won't break or ache for sake of you.
Back when I wanted you, you weren't there.
Don't think it hurts at all that we are through.
But if you wanted our duet's return,
I'd be there. No, I'll never learn.

Cancelled Skies

2008-10-29T20:12:00.000-07:00

What happens next, I guess I'll never know.
I'll wonder fruitlessly until I die.
The world's not fair, and many've told me so.
But still, I have to sit and wonder why.
It was a really shiny gorram show,
But they still went and cancelled Firefly!
And now I've watched all that was ever made.
Too soon it's gone, too soon the credits fade.

They were my life, but that life's left me cold.
I loved the Shepherd, Simon, Mal, and Jayne.
And Kaylee with her engines, all their gold.
And River, always wonderf'ly insane.
The beautiful Inara won't grow old,
And Wash won't go to Zoe's bed again.
But now they're gone. It couldn't matter less.
And yet it causes in me such distress!

How can this thing inspire me to rhyme?
It's fiction! Characters not ever real!
But for a sweet and cherished slice of time,
The pain I felt could match the pain they feel.
Their world has lots of violence, pain, and grime.
Yet comfort seems to be the lesser deal.
Now crew and cast is gone, no more to see.
It's like they went and took the sky from me.

Poem: High Speed Romance

2008-09-18T14:59:00.000-07:00

Momentum was a speedy girl
A hero quick and bright.
She ran and ran around the world,
to turn all Wrongs to Right.

The villain Hush did steal some loot.
And vanished then in fear.
Momentum caught her in pursuit
But left something more dear.

It was not right, Momentum knew,
To love an Evil one.
It might be wrong, but through and through,
She knew that Hush had won.

She freed Hush from her prison cell
And showed her a new life.
But Hush did not do Good so well
And wanted to cause strife.

So Hush, she left Momentum's side
And stole her heart and wealth.
Momentum ran and ran and cried.
She cursed her perfect health.

So learn from this, young heroes true,
Though villains sexy are,
They will not love as heroes do.
Your heart they'll surely scar.

But do not fear, for there is hope
For love that will not fail.
For though Momentum now does mope,
Let's hear more of her tale.

Now Delta was a heroine
Who morphed near all the time.
A hero tried and true, she'd win
And stop quickly all crime.

She met Momentum one fine night
While she fought some bad guy.
She helped in the heroic fight
And caught Momentum's eye.

They met again, this time for fun.
They talked and talked some more.
Momentum saw the rising sun;
her heart no longer sore.

They fell in love and all was grand,
But what of evil Hush?
She's doing time, I understand,
And not in any rush.

Home again, home again, jiggity jig...

2008-07-29T12:39:00.000-07:00

I figure I should do a wrap-up post of my trip to England.

So the last day was relatively uneventful. We went to Windsor, but the line to the palace was too long and it was too expensive, so we wandered around trying to get rid of the pounds we hadn't spent. We bought random souvenirs and watched some cricket. I didn't get how it was played at all.

Then we attempted to return the car. It was damn hard. Even our GPS, Jane, wasn't sure how to get to the car rental place. It took us maybe an hour of driving around to find it.

The airplane ride was long and boring. I watched cartoons that only rarely held my interest and read Strangers in Paradise. I also wrote a lot. I even slept a bit towards the end.

Now I'm back and working again. I should add that I will still be updating this blog, even though I'm not away! It will probably be more stories and poems than anecdotes about my life now, though. But if you enjoyed my tales of England, you should certainly stick around!

England Day 6!

2008-07-26T14:27:00.000-07:00

Wow, I've had internet issues! So expect a long post.

So yesterday! Seems like such a long time ago. We woke up in Bath and ate breakfast at the hotel. Then we wandered around and and bought some clothes. Then we went to the Roman Baths.

This was a very, very cool museum. We could walk all around the Baths and there was a cool audio tour and I really wish there'd been internet in last night's hotel because I just don't have time to cover this in detail with all the other things we've done. But there was really interesting commentary by Bill Bryson. And holographic images on the walls!

It was really cool.

Also there were all these pigs on the streets in Chicago cow style. They were beautiful. There was one that was so entirely a Rocky Horror pig. It was hilarious. It was based on the legend of King Bladud, the founder of Bath. They have such a cool founding legend. Boston has history, Bath has legends.

I want to go back there some day. I think I could live there.

Then it was off to Stratford-upon-Avon for Hamlet!

I'm going to save Hamlet for last because it was so awesome that I don't want to rush through it in an attempt to finish the blog post. So Hamlet, then we went to bed.

In the morning we visited Anne Hathaway's cottage which was very pretty and then went off to Oxford. We ate lunch and looked around then saw this rather silly production of Twelfth Night where Antonio was a puppet and the company had gone through Violas like popcorn. This was Viola 4 and she wasn't off book. But it was very fun anyway!

Then it was off to the hotel in Dorchester where there was (theoretically) no internet except I seem to have managed to find some anyway. This is the least pleasant place we've stayed so far.

So! Hamlet!

Oh my god, it was amazing. What I kind of didn't realize in the excitement of OH MY GOD DAVID TENNANT was that Patrick Stewart was playing Claudius! And let me tell you, he NAILED the role. He was also the Ghost, which I thought was just too cool.

Oh, man, there is no way I'll manage to say everything I loved about this show. There was too much.

The set was completely made out of mirrors. The floor was mirrored tiles and the back wall was made of six mirrors that could move. Occasionally they'd bring out other set pieces, but for the most part, this was it.

In the first scene the two guards kept shining their flashlights on the ground so the beams bounced up and hit the faces of whoever was talking.

The costumes were all pretty much modern dress, and oh man, they looked so good!

Oh, the ghost? Was also Patrick Stewart. He did both. It was just so...guh.

Hamlet made a very clear transition from sane to "mad." He rumpled his hair up after meeting the ghost and the next time we saw him, he wore a red t-shirt and jeans. And no shoes or socks. Also, he looked so young the entire time!

Polonius was hilarious. He was such a doddering old man. During some of his lines he'd just trail into mumbling and there'd be an awkward pause where everyone would lean in to see what he was going to say next and he'd suddenly be like, "Oh, where was I?"

Ophelia and Laertes were also great. Ophelia found condoms in Laertes' suitcase and mocked him when he was telling her not to fool around with Hamlet. And when Ophelia went mad? She was so much more insane than Hamlet. She was not faking it. And Laertes was so pissed. They both were really good.

Gertrude was wonderful. She went from being a glamorous queen in the first scene we see her to a tortured mother and widow in the end.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern were awesome. They were, of course, confused for each other, and bawdy and always together, and complete snakes. Brilliant.

And let's not forget Horatio! Now, I really love Horatio. And he was so good in this. He was always the one who laughed at Hamlet's jokes when everyone else clearly wanted him to just shut up. And they didn't cut out the suicide line at the end! Man, I loved this show.

Back to Claudius. He just had such dignity! After the play he just walked up to Hamlet and shone the light in his face clearly wondering what he knew and he was just so calm and collected. And in the end, when Hamlet's already poisoned him, Hamlet just handed him the cup and he drank from it meeting Hamlet's eyes the entire time and died. He wasn't forced. True, he was already dead, but still. It was just...wow.

Hamlet! He was so good! He was just wracked with grief in the beginning, and he did the fake madness so wonderfully! He was clearly having a great time, and after he killed Polonius there was a chase scene and they ended up duct taping him to a chair! And he delivered "To be or not to be" really well. That's a hard speech, since everyone knows it so well. And not really central to the plot, yet completely unable to be cut out. He barely acted it at all. He just rocked back and forth a little, staring at the audience and standing all but still. It was great.

I really loved this. I did.

The intermission came at a really weird point, though. When Claudius is praying and Hamlet comes in and thinks, oh, this is a really convenient time to kill him, and then he raises the dagger and bam, lights went out.

It was so television. I could practically hear the voice over saying, "Don't go away! We'll be back after these messages!"

Another cool thing, remember the mirrored set I told you about? Well, Polonius hides behind the mirrors a lot. And when he's in Gertrude's room and Hamlet hears him, Hamlet shoots, the lights go out, the mirrors spin, and when they stop, they're cracked. They stay that way for the rest of the show.

It was just so cool. I cannot get over how awesome it was. I'm sure I'll think in a few minutes of something I can't believe I'd ever forget to mention, but honestly? I could go on forever about this show. But I won't.

England Day 4!

2008-07-24T15:17:00.000-07:00

Well, today was quite an adventure! We left Linnea's house at far too early in the morning and drove to the airport to get the car. Mother was terribly nervous about driving on the opposite side of the road. I was too tired to care, so I fell asleep. We got a GPS system to help navigate, though. Her name is Jane. She's not as talkative as Sylvia, the GPS system at home, but she does get the job done.

Then we went to see Stonehenge! Now, people have told us that Stonehenge isn't worth it. They said, don't bother, it's highly overrated.

Those people were dead wrong.

Nothing is cooler than driving over a hill and being like OH MY GOD, THAT'S IT! THAT'S STONEHENGE! And we couldn't go right up and touch the stones, but we could get close enough to see it well. Plus, because of our unfortunate early rising, we got there before the crowds.

It's beautiful. And so awesome and old. Really, really, really worth it.

Then we went to Amesbury for breakfast. Mother got this weird meat pasty that she didn't much like. And by not much like, I mean she hated it. I got this tomato cheese thing that I enjoyed.

We saw Woodhenge too, but it was kind of boring. They had these cement posts in the ground to show where the wooden posts used to be and this shrine that was sort of cool. Meh.

Then we started driving to Avesbury to see the stone circles. Mom was doing very well on the left side of the road, but hugging the curb a little too much. She hit it and our tire blew out. Luckily, we were near a lumber yard where these nice guys helped us change the tire to the spare. We continued on our journey.

The Stone Circles were sort of cool because we could actually touch the stones. We could also touch the sheep. And, unfortunately, the sheep shit. I got some on my foot, which I didn't discover until I showered a few hours ago. Ah, the curses of a stuffy nose! Or maybe blessings, come to think of it.

We continued on to Bath, where we were met by TONS of traffic and a hard-to-get-into parking space. Our hostess at the Oldsfield Bed and Breakfast is the nicest lady ever, though. Her name is Julia. She offered us water and gave us a map and showed us how to get to places and helped deal with the car company for replacing the tire. Seriously, nicest lady ever.

After a quick email check, we left to explore Bath. I've yet to find a comic book store, but that's okay. There's always waiting until we get home. We had a delicious dinner at this french place and went home to watch Shakespeare in Love.

Tomorrow is Hamlet Day!

England Day 3!

2008-07-23T16:03:00.000-07:00

Last night we saw Spamalot. It was awesome! Mother thought she'd hate it, but she was wrong. Shockingly. Hate Spamalot? Ha! But yes, it was hilarious.

Today we went to Notting Hill, which is this cute little neighborhood with a street and flea market-ish place called Portabello Road. Julia would have loved it. So many shoes! And earrings! And random weird stuff! I finally got a new necklace, which is lovely. And we bought some raspberries for a pound! From a woman who really seemed like the witch from Hansel and Gretel. She was old with very white hair and a crooked nose and she said "darling" after every word. "It's a pound, darling. Thank you darling. That's not enough, darling." Mother got confused and gave her ten pence at first. It was amusing. Then we ate lunch and people watched.

We left the raspberries at the hotel when we went back to get our luggage. And the shirt I sleep in, which is sad since I've had it since fifth grade, but honestly, not a tragedy. We took the wrong train and ended up in South Chesington or something. It was okay, though. We managed to get to Linnea's after a while.

Her little girls are the most adorable children ever! We talked about Harry Potter and played ~~soccer~~ football and frisbee. And chatted about food and writing and everything! Emma, the older one, gave me this poster of the Doctor and Donna she had that she didn't want. It was so sweet. And Emma also complimented my horrible attempt at an English accent!

Now we're reading (or in my case, writing) because mom can't sleep and I can't sleep when someone else is awake. At least it was productive!

England Day 2!

2008-07-22T09:00:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone who's reading this blog! You may be wondering, what exactly is Shana up to? The answer is, she is traveling around the UK. And talking in third person, apparently. Anyway, we flew in Sunday night/Monday morning. We didn't actually sleep on the plane. And the hotel didn't have our rooms ready at first. So we gave them our stuff and wandered around London half-asleep. We hung out at the National Gallery and I entertained Mother with the stories that inspired the paintings. She hadn't known most of them. She says she's never had that much fun in a museum before. Clearly, they should hire me to write those audio tour thingies.

We attempted to explore the Tate Modern and the Globe Theater, but the first didn't have anything in the big room to look at and we were too tired to go up to look at the photo exhibits and such, and the second we could only go into with a tour. Or a play, but nothing was showing that wasn't sold out on the days we were in town. So we ate lunch and went back to the hotel. I read for a while, managing not to fall asleep mainly because Artemis Fowl is utterly AWESOME. I've said it before and I will not stop saying it. I love that series. I'm not sure how critically good it is, but damn, I can't get enough of it!

Then we went to the Mac store to get a converter for my power chord and ate dinner. At this point I was pretty much in a daze. We went home and I fell asleep pretty quickly at 8:30ish.

Then we slept for twelve hours. Well, on and off.

Today we wandered around Leichester Square and hung out in Forbidden Planets comic store. My mother wouldn't let me buy anything because it's cheaper in the US. Hmph, I say. Hmph! I wanted to buy a comic book in England! Blah. Then we walked back to St. James' Park and read and ate lunch in the grass. So many people were picnicing! I thought about Good Omens. We had ice cream. I'm leaving very soon to hang out in a flea market and hopefully get a new necklace. Then we're going to Spamalot! Hooray!

Dr. Horrible

2008-07-16T22:24:00.000-07:00

Everyone go watch Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog right now. It's so amazing. The first two acts are up and free. It's a musical about a supervillain by Joss Whedon. And like I said, it's free, but only until July 20th! Don't miss out because seriously? This is the most awesome thing ever.

Yeah, all three of you who read this blog will love it.

And by three, I probably mean one. Hi Mom!

So I leave you with a quote from Dr. Horrible.

Peace out!

Well, not literally.

Story: A Day in the Life

2008-07-09T21:03:00.001-07:00

A Day in the Life.

On Thursday, Joan jerked awake half an hour before school started. How had she overslept? She had gone to bed directly after finishing all of her homework at 3:00 AM. It had been the most sleep she’d had all week! She cursed and jumped into the shower and out again, throwing on her clothing and brushing her hair at the same time.

“You better not be late to school,” her mother warned her. “Every single tardy goes on your report card, and colleges could see it.”

“I’m leaving now, Mom!” Joan yelled. “Bye!”

She didn’t stop to eat breakfast. Breakfast was for the weak. She could always grab a cookie at Coffeebucks when she went to buy her Triple Gigantico Caffeinator.

A Block. Joan was in her seat five minutes early with her pencils sharpened and arranged on her desk by size. She was hoping her AP Chemistry teacher would write her college recommendation, so she wanted to seem as prepared as possible. She smiled brightly at her teacher when he walked in the door. He started talking, and she opened her notebook.

Hello, class, she wrote. Did you do your homework?

Joan worried, sometimes, that her notes were not thorough enough. She didn’t want to miss a word of the brilliance that came out of her teacher’s mouth, so she wrote everything.

Paraphrasing would be the ultimate travesty.

B Block. Gym Class. Joan had thought carefully about which gym class looked easiest. Eventually, she had chosen the course labeled Pretending to Exercise While Not Doing Much at All. It was a fairly rigorous course. Joan walked an entire lap around the field.

C Block. Joan’s free. It was really nice to sit back in the library and do some of the homework do Monday. She didn’t want to get behind, after all.

D Block. Honors Mathematics. The weakest point in her nearly bulletproof schedule. Her math class was not Advanced Placement. She tried not to let any of her friends see her sneaking into the room with the students who were not as clever as she was.

I’m not one of them! She wanted to shout. I occasionally have trouble in mathematics, but I’m not one of the slower students who cannot learn everything by the AP exam!

Some of the horrifically stupid students in her Honors class were taking only one AP class, or even none!

Lunch. Joan was always ravenous by the time lunch rolled around. She went down to the cafeteria.

They were serving her favorite meal! Fried grease on toast! With extra added sugar!

She knew it was healthy. It came with an apple. Even if she didn’t eat the apple, the thought was still there.

E Block. Latin. Joan had worried that AP English, AP Chemistry, AP History, and Honors Mathematics were not enough. She felt she needed a language. French and Spanish were too common to even consider. Luckily, Latin would look good on any college application.

More importantly, it would help with the SATs. Joan had taken them for the third time last Saturday, and she still had not managed to break 2300. All four of her tutors were very disappointed.

Finally, school had ended. Joan raced off to her job at the Center For Helping Little Children. Every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday she would go there and help little children. On Tuesdays and Fridays she had a different job. She volunteered at the Society of Protecting Our Furry Friends. She already had a college essay planned out about how saving puppies and little children had entirely changed her view of the world.

At five, she said good bye to her supervisor and went home for dinner. She snagged a power bar off of the counter and went into her room to finish all the homework she hadn’t finished and start the homework due later.

She went to bed at 4:30 AM.

Story: Carnal, Bloody and Unnatural Acts

2008-07-09T21:00:00.000-07:00

You want me to tell you Hamlet’s story? It’s not a happy one, I warn you. You know the ending, of course. Hamlet dies. The king, the queen, the advisor and both his children, the two false friends, all of them died. That’s when you showed up, my Lord Fortinbras.

I wanted to die too. Hamlet has been my friend for years. Living on while he’s in Heaven – it just doesn’t seem right. I suppose I should start at the beginning, though.

I went to Castle Elsinore several months ago to pay my respects to the dead king. I hadn’t expected to be assailed with tales of ghosts the moment I stepped onto the grounds. Bernardo and Marcellus are two guards of the castle. When they told me they had seen King Hamlet walking the castle grounds, I of course didn’t believe them. Ghosts? Simply tales made up to scare small children. At least, that’s what I’d thought.

Bernardo and Marcellus convinced me accompany them on their watch and see if the ghost appeared. I was surprised and terrified out of my mind when the ghost actually did appear. I was expecting a trick, not a real ghost.

Marcellus and Bernardo asked me what they should do. The only thing I could think to do was tell Prince Hamlet what we had seen.

Why Prince Hamlet and not King Claudius? Hamlet had always been my friend, and I knew that he would know I would not joke about this. I didn’t know at the time that King Claudius had killed King Hamlet, but it never even occurred to me to tell Claudius what had happened. Hamlet would want to know first, and that was reason enough for me to tell him.

When Marcellus and I found him, Hamlet was upset about the marriage of his mother and his uncle so soon after his father had died. Who wouldn’t be? It was a rather abrupt wedding. Hamlet was the only one who seemed to still be mourning the dead king.

Hamlet was as intrigued by the ghost as I’d thought he would be. He joined Marcellus and me the next night. The ghost appeared and bid Hamlet follow it.

Of course I tried to stop him. Marcellus and I both did. Though the ghost had the form of King Hamlet, we knew it could simply be a demon’s trick. Hamlet knew too, but he just didn’t care. He was that eager to hear his father’s voice again. He would not be stopped. Hamlet went so far as to threaten us when we tried to stop him.

We weren’t going to leave Hamlet alone with the ghost in such a state. We ran after him. When we’d caught up, the ghost was gone. Hamlet refused to tell us what the ghost had said, but he did make us swear by his sword never to tell what we’d seen. To this day, I never have, but Hamlet asked me to tell his story to the world, and the ghost is important.

It wasn’t until later that I found out the ghost’s message. He had told Hamlet that his death had not been a natural one. King Hamlet had been murdered by his brother, Claudius.

Hamlet had already disliked Claudius for marrying his mother so soon after his father died. Knowing the full story, though, made Hamlet loathe Claudius.

It was after learning the nature of King Hamlet’s death that Hamlet’s madness began.

I say madness only because that is what everyone called it. Hamlet was never mad. He pretended to have lost his mind to allay suspicion while he proved the ghost had been telling the truth and avenged his father. I’ll admit, there were times even I doubted his sanity. I worried that he took the act too far, and I blamed myself for telling him about the accursed ghost.

He was sane, though, and he thought of the perfect test. A play mimicking the death of King Hamlet as the ghost had told it. If Claudius had killed the King, he would be unable to hide his guilt when faced with such a clear representation of it. Hamlet asked me to watch for the King’s reaction so that we could compare after the show.

It went even better than we could have hoped. The King stopped the play after the murder scene and demanded light. Hamlet knew the ghost had spoken true, and he knew he had to kill King Claudius to avenge his father.

Have I mentioned Polonius at all yet? He was the King’s spymaster and advisor. He also was a bit of a fool, and very fond of the sound of his own voice.

He was there when Hamlet went to speak to his mother. I don’t know exactly what happened, but I do know Hamlet killed Polonius and hid the body. It had been an accident, but I don’t know any more than that of the circumstances.

The king sent Hamlet to England to have him executed. He did not know that Hamlet planned to kill him, but he was afraid. He sent Hamlet off with Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, two so-called friends of Hamlet who traded loyalty to their friend for the favors of the king.

While Hamlet was away, things only grew more rotten. Polonius’ daughter, Ophelia, lost her mind and drowned herself. Laertes, Polonius’ son, came pounding on the castle doors, yelling for revenge.

Luckily, Hamlet never arrived in England. He ended up on a pirate ship, and they brought him back to Denmark. Before even meeting the pirates, he switched the death warrant that Rosencrantz and Guildenstern carried with one asking for the immediate death of the bearers. That is the only reason that they were killed.

After Hamlet and I reunited, we found ourselves watching the funeral procession for Ophelia. I had not had a chance to tell him of her death.

Laertes jumped into the grave and demanded to be buried alive with Ophelia. Hamlet couldn’t take Laertes’ dramatics. He had loved Ophelia. He snapped. He jumped into the grave with Laertes, and the two of them fought.

When we had separated them, Hamlet told me more fully of his short trip. We received the message that the King had placed a bet on Hamlet’s dueling skills. He wanted Laertes and Hamlet to fence before the court.

Hamlet was uneasy about it, but he refused to be dissuaded. He agreed to fence Laertes.

He had been right to be uneasy. Laertes and Claudius had plotted Hamlet’s death. One of the blades had been sharpened and dipped in poison so potent that a cut would be deadly. In case that wasn’t enough, the king had poisoned Hamlet’s drink.

You’ve seen the result. The queen drank the poisoned cup, Laertes slew Hamlet with the poisoned blade, Hamlet slew Laertes and the King, and he stopped me from drinking the poison to follow him.

That is how all of these deaths came to pass. It was Hamlet’s dying wish that you, Fortinbras, should become Denmark’s new ruler. He asked me to tell you. I shall continue to live and tell his story. Good luck with Denmark. It may have begun to heal, but there’s a long way yet to go.

Story: The Tricks Life Plays on You

2008-07-09T20:34:00.000-07:00

I hate Wednesdays. Little known fact: Wednesdays are Odin's days. Odin's a great guy, don't get me wrong, but have you seen any Loki days out there? Seriously, it isn't fair at all. I get such a bad rep. People are so biased against gods who like to have a little fun.

Right, so Wednesdays. This Wednesday, for instance. I was driving down the freeway, having a great time and listening to the radio when the music ended and some boring talk show began. I'd have changed the channel, but it was an interview with some religious studies major. I love listening to mortals talk about gods. It's just so cute.

Anyway, this chick, Dr. Amelia Nondieu had been doing a scientific study on gods in general.

Like we have anything to do with science. Totally ridiculous.

It was all very interesting and hilarious, but then she said something that made me stomp on the breaks.

"We've recently come up with scientific evidence that proves definitively that there is no higher power."

For about thirty seconds I just sat there, parked in the middle of the freeway. Then I cracked up.

No higher powers? What did she know? I wasn't going to let some stupid mortal tell me whether or not I exist. That'd just be stupid.

I changed the channel and stomped on the gas. I needed a drink.

Of course, fate would not be so kind. First, I had to deal with a speeding ticket. Me! You'd think gods would be exempt from that kind of thing. I mean, not that the idiot who stopped me knew I was a god, but still.

I mean, I was only going along at what, hundred, hundred fifty miles per hour? Sure, it's above the speed limit, but I wasn't hitting anything. Few near misses, just enough to get people scared, but y'know, all in good fun.

Cops don't think it's so funny, though. Wasn't too long until I heard sirens behind me.

I thought about letting them chase me.

Thing is, I really liked the car I'd stolen, and magic's really hard on a good pair of wheels.

I pulled over to the shoulder of the road and transformed into a woman. Body like a goddess, of course. Aphrodite, actually. Sure, she isn't in my pantheon, but have you seen that chick? Knocks the socks off Sif, our goddess of beauty.

Not that the uncultured moron in blue noticed.

"Hey, you got a license, Miss...?" he asked.

I gave a girlish giggle. "Lucy," I said. "Lucy Swindler."

"Miss Swindler," he said. "License."

I rummaged around the glove compartment and patted myself down. He watched my hands and I let myself flush.

"Gee, officer, seems like I don't have it," I said, pouting cutely. "Any chance you could let me off with a warning?"

He was tempted. I could smell it. Not surprising, considering the pheromones I was giving out. Gotta love mortals. So predictable.

"I...uh, I shouldn't," he said.

I leaned forward. "I'd be...very...grateful," I whispered throatily.

And he was mine. We had a nice tumble in the back seat. Best part was when I let the female enchantment go away. Poor guy couldn't figure out what had happened to the sexy babe he'd bedded. He was still babbling when I hit the road again. No idea what happened to him after that. Probably went home to his wife and wrote it off as a bad dream.

Yeah, I coulda produced a license. Could have even produced a badge or something. Heh, that could have been funny. I could have yelled at Officer Dimwit for ruining a case I'd been working on.

This was more fun, though. And a little more of a challenge. Seriously, I'm the God of Mischief. You expect me to do things the easy way? Trouble's the only reason I exist.

Problem was, I just couldn't get what Dr. Nondieu said out of my mind. Sure, I know I exist no matter what anyone says, but not all the other gods are as smart as I am. And truth be told, we kind of depend on people to exist. I mean, without mortals, we're kind of screwed. I mean, sure, Odin used the giant Ymir's body to create the world, but he wouldn't have if people didn't exist. People and gods created each other, you know?

If you're confused at this point, I don't blame you. It's really complicated and probably involves quantum

I turned onto the exit without slowing down. There had to be a good bar around here somewhere. I mean, there was a college nearby.

I parked my car and put on Baldur's face. He's our other god of beauty. He doesn't actually know that I sometimes wear his shape. Probably wouldn't be too happy if he knew. He's a little pissed about the fact that I'll someday trick Hod, the God of poetry and darkness, into shooting him with an arrow made from mistletoe, the only material that can kill him. Man, some people can hold a grudge.

I smirked at the mirror as I entered. I could feel the girls (and a few of the guys) turning to look at me. I sauntered up to the bar and ordered two drinks. One for me, and one for a pretty girl sitting at a table in the corner.

When the waiter brought her the drink, she looked up at me and smiled, so I walked over.

"This seat taken?" I asked.

"No," she said. "You bought me this drink?"

"Yeah," I said, flashing her a grin. "Name's Luke."

"Amelia," she said. "Nice to meet you."

"You too," I said. "I'm a God you know."

"Yeah?" she said, amused.

"Oh yeah," I said. "All my previous lovers could tell you."

Amelia laughed. "Actually, funny you should mention gods."

"Why?" I said, raising my glass to take a drink.

"I actually just published an article about that. I proved that God can't possibly exist."

I coughed, spitting my drink back into the cup. Disgusting, but what can you do?

"Amelia Nondieu?" I said.

"You've heard of me?" she asked, sounding pleased.

"Radio," I said. "You're wrong, you know."

She raised an eyebrow. "I wouldn't have taken you for a religious man. I mean, Luke may be a very Christian name, but..."

"You're wrong!" I said. "Look, I know Gods exist!"

She frowned. "You know, it's funny, but I could have sworn you had brown eyes when you walked in here."

I slammed my drink down and rushed to the bathroom. My face. How could I have reverted without noticing? I tried to change back.

I couldn't. It wasn't working. I had to get out of there.

I left the bathroom and swallowed the rest of my drink. "You're wrong," I told Amelia again. "Gods exist." She simply smiled.

I only barely managed to refrain from running to the door. I went to my car and willed my hands to stop shaking. It wasn't true. Gods exist. I exist. Nondieu knew nothing.

Once I was on the road again, I began to feel better. My inability to change? Just a momentary flux in my powers. It happened occasionally, especially around people who were that strongly atheist. Momentary insecurity. Science and religion were such entirely different realms that the idea of the two mixing was absurd. I shifted shapes a few times, just to prove to myself that I could.

Not a huge shocker that I got insecure about the article, though. The thing is, life's pretty tough for gods these days. All the old temples? All the prayers? Gone. People still worship the ideas I stand for, sure, but I haven't gotten a good sacrifice for centuries. Doing better than Thor, at least. No one worships storms anymore, but there are plenty of pranks and tricks and general nasty folk following me. Christianity kind of blows. One god taking all he prayers? Man, that's greedy. Okay, I kind of wish I'd thought of it first.

Anyway, studies like these could be self-fulfilling. If enough people believed that article, it could wipe us out. I almost believed her, and if I couldn't believe in myself, who would?

Forget mortals. I needed to make sure the stupider members of our pantheon hadn't read the article. Or that they weren't taking it seriously if they had.

I veered sharply off the road and drove to Thor's apartment. Of course the idiot lives at the top of an apartment building. He probably goes up to the roof during storms and waves his hammer Mjollnir around, too.

I turned into a bird and flew up to the window. I landed and pecked on the glass.

Thor didn't look up. Uh oh.

I pecked harder. He ignored me.

Great. I turned into a gust of wind and wriggled through the crack between the window and the wall. Not an easy fit, let me tell you.

"What's up?" I said, turning back into myself.

Thor sighed heavily and glared.

"Geeze, someone stick Mjollnir up your ass or something?"

"Don't be crude, Loki," Thor said. "Haven't you heard?"

"Heard what?" I asked.

"We don't exist," Thor said. "Any moment we'll vanish."

"Great," I said. He'd heard. Why did thunder gods have to be so moody? "Don't you have a wife to explain these things to you?"

"Sif's out shopping with Baldur," Thor said. "Explain what?"

"Thor, you are like a brother to me, and I hope you understand that I mean absolutely no offense, but you are a complete and utter idiot."

He growled, eyes flashing. "There was a scientific study done that proved it," he said. The room darkened, and sparks ran through Thor's beard. I hate when he does that. He is such a drama queen. Plus, it scares the shit out of me.

"Quit it, Thor. My point is, are you really going to believe science? What has science ever done?"

"Microwave ovens," Thor said.

"Geeze, do you have to be so literal?" I asked. "Gods and science have nothing in common, Thor."

"But science proved it!" Thor said.

"Look, I'll disprove it." I punched him in the arm, hard. Not like I could hurt him, the big lout. "You've just been hit by a god."

"But the scientist said –"

"Who are you going to believe, me or a scientist?"

Thor glanced at me. "You're the Prince of Lies, Loki."

Why did my reputation have to catch up with me at the worst times?

"Yes, but I'm not lying right now, Thor. We exist. Clearly. And we're gods. Also clearly. Therefore, gods exist."

"What you're saying makes sense," Thor said. "But I read Dr. Nondieu's article. It made a lot of sense too."

"Where'd you read it?" I asked.

He handed me National Geographics.

"Since when have you read this sort of thing?" I asked him.

"I like the pictures of thunder storms," he said defensively.

"Someone's obsessed," I muttered. I flipped through the magazine until I found the relevant article.

"Watch carefully," I said. I grabbed hold of the article and ripped it out of the magazine.

"Hey!" Thor said. "That's my magazine!"

"Uh huh," I said. "And these pages are full of dirty, filthy lies."

"Hrmph," Thor grunted.

"Anyway, have I convinced you?"

"I guess so," Thor said reluctantly.

"So you'll stop sulking?"

"I wasn't sulking," Thor said.

"Yes you were."

"No I wasn –"

"It's not important," I said quickly. "If you're not waiting to disappear, my work here is done."

Thor's eyes flashed again. "You knew about this before?" he said. Thunder crackled outside. "You came here just to convince me it wasn't true?"

"Also for the pleasure of your company, of course!" I said quickly. "Stop it, Thor!"

"How do I know you had nothing to do with this article?"

"Would I do something like that?"

"You've made people doubt their own existence before," Thor said.

"How do you know about that?" I asked.

"You talk a lot when you're drunk. Last New Year's." Thor smirked.

At least it was better from the gloomy existentialism.

"I was too busy watching Baldur freak out about the mistletoe to pay attention to what I was saying."

"And you are a jerk for even bringing that plant," he said. "That's not even one of our traditions!"

"But it was funny," I said.

"Not to Baldur," Thor said. "He didn't calm down until Sif took him to that spa."

"That's funny too," I said.

"You're not nice, Loki."

"Please. He's freaking invulnerable to everything else. He's just a wimp."

"Loki," Thor said, eyes flashing again.

"Okay, okay, I won't do it again!" I said. "Well, until I eventually murder him, but hey, that won't happen until close to the end of the world."

"And you wonder why the other gods don't like you," Thor said.

"I think that's my cue to leave," I said. "Cheer up, Thor. No one likes a stormy thunder god."

"Bye, Loki. Don't let the door hit you on your way out."

"Don't plan to," I said, turning into a gust of wind again. "I'm not using the door."

I flew out of the window and soared down to the street. Convincing Thor had been a good idea. I certainly would never let Thor know, but the article had made me a little uncomfortable. It couldn't possibly be true, of course, but it had been worrying. Convincing Thor had also convinced me. I existed.

Some police officer had given me a ticket while I was away. With a snap of my fingers, I incinerated it.

It was good to be me.

Take Flight!

2008-05-25T09:55:00.000-07:00

I've thrown myself off of a cliff.
On a dare,
In the air.
Maybe the clouds will catch me.

If it doesn't kill me, it'll make me strong,
But maybe I
Prefer to die
Then face the pain the truth might bring.

But if I live my life on sturdy ground,
I'll never learn,
I'll always yearn
For freedom and air beneath my wings.

The wind whips about my face.
The world below
Seems to go
So slow.

I wonder if I'll die.
Or fly.

Iron Man

2008-05-17T23:33:00.000-07:00

Saw Iron Man.

It was fantastic. My brain always is watching these things and looking at how they're done, but it was minimal in this movie.

A few annoying logic holes, though. What kind of idiot gives a brilliant engineer the materials to make a weapon while they're being kept captive and doesn't realize that yes, they will use said weapons against you.

And I find it hard to believe that a man in an iron suit would be so much more effective than a robot.

First post!

2008-02-27T09:37:00.001-08:00

No one is reading this at all. Which has never stopped me before! Expect a more substantial update later.