Direction in Life

I've been having a lot of thoughts of where and what to do with my life. It's been really difficult for me, living like this. School doesn't excite me, I'm hardly keeping up with my writing, I've even been, I'll admit, a little depressed.

I've always wanted to be a writer, but I don't think that's right for me. In fact, I've realized writing is what's been holding me back. Both writing and reading. I've been so involved with the fictional world, I've ignored the real world. My social life is a wreck, I'm barely passing school, I'm so involved in fiction, I've practically lost my sense of what is real and what isn't.

It isn't healthy. But I couldn't see that for far too long. I was too busy thinking about what will happen in Blackest Night? Who will be on the new roster of the Teen Titans? When will the next Neil Gaiman book come out?

But I've found something better than all of that.

I've found religion.

Yes, I've accepted Jesus Christ as my lord and savior, and I don't see how I could ever have felt otherwise.

And I'm going to pursue this farther. I need to get more in touch with my inner-self, with my soul. I'm dropping out of college. It hasn't been doing anything for me anyway. There's this nunnery in Vermont that I want to find. I'm going to join and find my true, Christian soul.

This is a big change for me. I'm a little nervous, and very excited. I'm not sure what will happen after this, but it's definitely going to be better than my life has been.

Writer's Block

You may have noticed a failure to post for a while recently. I'm a little blocked up, writing-wise. Sometimes it's hard to keep it up. I love writing, and I'm good at it, but I get discouraged sometimes, you know? It's hard remembering that I need to work at it, that I need to not get discouraged by how few people read my blog, to remember that the readers will come if I provide incentive. I need to update this more often. I need to write more. I need to finish posting my boat journal entries. They aren't my finest work ever, but I want them preserved in the great internet.

Anyway, I'm done whining. I did write something tonight. John Rogers, former writer of Blue Beetle and current writer of Leverage, which I keep meaning to watch, suggested a writing exercise. He said you should write a scene from the point of view of supporting cast members, and villains, anyone other than the protagonist, as if they were the main character of the story. It's a pretty obvious idea now that I think about it, but hey, sometimes it takes someone else pointing it out.

Anyway, I tried it with a character from my NaNoWriMo novel. Bernadine Dale. Whom I have renamed Nadine Dale because I like it better. It was really interesting. I found out a lot about her I hadn't known before.

Anyway, here it is:



Nadine Dale was not a jealous person. When Roxie got the lead in the school play, Nadine was entirely sincere in her congratulations. She told herself there wasn't a bit of her that wanted that spotlight a little more. When Grant aced a test without studying, she was happy for him. Even if she'd studied hard all week and only scraped up a B minus. Friendship came before her own happiness.

But this was almost too much. Roxie was dating a superhero? Roxie hadn't told her she was dating a superhero? Some best friend.

Not that Nadine was jealous. Nadine didn't get jealous. Not even a little.

So what that Roxie was the center of attention, and Nadine wasn't? It wasn't like Roxie was enjoying herself. Roxie hated all the attention. Which, Nadine had to admit, was probably why Roxie hadn't told her about her relationship with Golden Sun. Nadine was known to be a bit of a gossip. But she would have kept Roxie's secret!

And Nadine wasn't even jealous that Roxie's boyfriend was the absolutely gorgeous Golden Sun. Who could fly. And had superpowers. That could probably be used in very interesting ways and there was no way in hell Nadine would finish that thought because fantasizing about her best friend's super-boyfriend? Not cool.

But Nadine wasn't jealous. She wouldn't let herself get jealous. Roxie was her best friend, and that friendship was too important to be torn apart by jealousy.

But she could go be happy for Roxie after another minute. First she had to stand under the staircase where no one was likely to see her. She had to crumple the newspaper closed and close her eyes tightly. She had to ignore her terrible track record with a string of boyfriends and girlfriends that hadn't lasted more than a few months, at most. She had to ignore her superhero idolatry. She had to ignore how it always seemed like it was someone else getting the lucky break. None of it was as important as Roxie's happiness.

Nadine wasn't jealous. She was happy. If it was the sort of happiness that made her insides clench up a little, well, no need to tell that to anyone.



For those wondering, Roxie isn't actually dating Golden Sun. The paper misinterpreted things.



I don't think I'm going to edit and publish my novel. There's too much wrong with it, and I think it would be better suited to a comic book anyway. I might try and write a script for it. Wish I knew more artists!

Boat Trip Day 3

7/21/06

Rain sucks. So does standing at the helm for an hour and a half. Sleep is nice. So is peach cake thingy. I've finished reading my first book. I have no room to sit up. Going aloft is fun, if rather dangerous. I am very likely going to have dreads by the end of this. I've had longer times between showers, but I've never been filthier. I can't believe it's only been three days.

Emily* is neighbors with Gregory Maguire, the author of Wicked!

Fog sucks. Hopefully (knock on wood) there will be sun, clear skies, and good winds after the tropical storm we're sitting out passes.

Even more hopefully, we'll reach Nova Scotia quickly and go on land.

I don't really miss the internet so much as my friends and cleanliness. Even at home, I only yearn for the internet when there's nothing to do. Here, when there's nothing to do, I read, find something to eat, write, or sleep. The last one's my favorite. Or, more rarely, socialize. All in all, everything's okay.



*Name changed.

Boat Trip Day 2

7/20/06

Yes, I'm starting late. Deal with it. We're on the run from a tropical storm. I'm helmsman in any emergency. So far, I've done a lot of dishes. It'd be like home, except at home, people have to bug me, I shower, and I don't get queasy. My writing also borders on legible at home.

I'm not seasick, and I'm hoping (knock on wood) that the very slight queasy feeling I have goes away.

There's loads of sleeping time, just not necessarily in a row.

Food is edible, and let's leave it at that. The problem is, their definition of a vegetarian meal is meat substitute.

Ah, well. I get by. I must now go to sleep in preparation for my four AM watch.

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I realize I'm posting this later than I promised. I've been busy. Expect future installments to be more timely!

Plans and such!

I'm thinking of ways to start updating this thing more often. I know all eight of you readers are really, really excited to hear that!

Anyway, I've got various ideas that I'm brainstorming, but the easiest one I plan to start very soon now.

A few years ago, I went on an Outward Bound schooner trip. I had to very literally learn the ropes. It was a lot of work, and a lot of fun.

Now, I'm a writer. I express myself better when I write, and I usually prefer writing to talking. Not always. But one thing I sort of hate is telling people about trips. That's why I blogged my England trip. But there was no internet on my boat trip.

So I did that thing people did before there were computers. I used a pen and a notebook. I know, I know, you forgot those things existed, didn't you? But they do, and I used them. So starting tomorrow, be prepared for Shana's Boat Journal! Presented almost exactly how I wrote it at sixteen! Though I may correct my spelling and grammar for sanity's sake.

Get excited! And more news on Coming Developments when I decide what they shall be!

Short stories!

GailSimone has challenges on twitter every now and then. Six word stories, short descriptions, whatever.

Here are a few of mine.

Superhero puberty in eight words or less: Voice, hair, hormones, X-ray vision is more fun.

Six words or less, Any superhero's post-coital statement without cursing: "...Being the fastest man alive stinks." - The Flash

A complete story in one Twitter post, featuring comic characters, without the use of the letter 'e': Tara backstabs Gar and Titans. Tara is crazy.

The story, for those who are not comics-savy, is the Judas Contract. It's very good, and I highly recommend it.

Proposition 8 the Musical

I don't know if there's anyone who hasn't seen this by now, but just in case!

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Neil Patrick Harris is my favorite part.